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  • Why Men Don’t Marry Bitches: My Response to the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”
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Why Men Don’t Marry Bitches: My Response to the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”

Peter Niles December 10, 2024
Why Men Marry Bitches Book

Why Men Marry Bitches Book

Why Men Don’t Marry Bitches: My Response to the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”

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    • Peter Niles

Vernacular aside, the title alone tells you everything you need to know. I will start with the initial premises as to why this is wrongheaded and then end with some places where we find common ground. I will discuss the three opening premises of the book and then discuss the area where the author gets it and we seem to have common ground. In many of the following paragraphs, I will revisit my theory about the projection attraction that women engage in when it comes to what they tell each other men find attractive. The basic premise of this principle is that what women find attractive in men, men find the same thing attractive in women. This is often not the case, and I hate to spoil a half century of feminism, but men and women are not exactly alike and therefore do not necessarily find the same things attractive. That being said, the following paragraphs contain the aforementioned discussion of her initial book premises.


 

Premise 1: Confidence
“This first item on his checklist: She is confident.” Now, if you were to ask men about their checklists, I promise that this would not be the first thing virtually any men say is their number one thing. Women absolutely find confident men attractive, but for men, this is more of a nice-to-have than necessary for attraction. It may enhance a man’s attraction to a woman, but it is not a make-or-break unless all other things included are equal. If a man is not already attracted to a woman in the first place, her being confident is unlikely to make it so. On the other hand, this is often the case for women. Confidence is a personality trait that is a strong marker for competence among other positive personality qualities women would find attractive.

Premise 2: Being Interesting
“The second item on his checklist: She is interesting.” And again, this is engaging in the same attraction projection that we have discussed so far in this article. This again tends to fall into the category of it would be nice for a woman to have this but is not necessary in order for a man to appreciate a woman. I understand that for women’s attraction, an interesting man implies someone who has likely achieved a lot, seen a lot, and knows a lot of things. But for men, oftentimes one of the greatest parts in life when it comes to women is sharing the finer things in life with them and showing them and teaching them the way. If a man is not given this opportunity because she already knows all of these things and has already done all of those things without him, then what does he have to share with her?! And often, a man might wonder, how does she know about all of these things?! How did she learn this?! Who did she already go there with?! And if she did it all on her own via her own work ethic, what price did she pay in years of her life to get and endless hours in the office to achieve this?! Again, this would be filed more in the category of nice-to-have, but not necessary for attraction.

Premise 3: Independence
“The third item on his checklist: She doesn’t need me.” This one is interesting to me because I would say I come down somewhere in the middle on this one. Overall, it is probably best when looking for a wife for a man to find a woman who is emotionally independent, i.e., she can take care of things on her own without his help, so I do agree here. But in addition to that, I think it is a bit more nuanced than that because if you are going to have a true partner in life and, as Jocko Willink would put it, “Marry someone you would go to war with,” I think rather than independence here, you’re looking for something more like interdependence. In a marriage or long-term relationship, two people can get much further together by working together as one via interdependence than they can working independently and alone. But to her point, I think independence to start with before you are with someone else is a prerequisite for interdependence.

Finding Common Ground
That being said, these three rules aside, I do think the author has a better understanding of the interplay of masculinity and femininity than her initial opening stanzas let on, and I may have judged her too harshly. Not long after these rules are laid out, she talks in her chapter, Changing the Game, about how all a woman needs to do to hook a man is to be “soft, charming, and feminine and enjoyable to be around; he will hook himself.” She goes on to say, “Men want to be chivalrous. They want a woman they can cherish and do everything for.” Now, those are statements that I agree with and are absolutely true. They tend to contradict her initial checklist but are correct nonetheless.


I think this is the main thing that has been lost in much of the interplay of sexual dynamics and dating advice for women in 2024. Yet here it is in the exact book I am critiquing for giving bad advice. So maybe what I’m trying to say is the divide isn’t as big as I initially thought it was. There is just a bad signal-to-noise ratio making it more difficult to find the good, accurate, and true stuff, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

In the above paragraphs, I went through some female dating advice for women on how to achieve a better dating life with men. I went through three of her opening arguments on what she proposes are on men’s checklist in what they look for in women, why this isn’t necessarily true, and then I went through a place where I agree with the author on how true commitment from a man is achieved in a relationship.

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Peter Niles

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Green Tea: A Metabolism and Brain Booster Green tea is packed with polyphenols and catechins—particularly EGCG (epigallocatechin gallate)—which are powerful antioxidants. Health benefits of drinking green tea: Boosts metabolism and fat oxidation Improves brain function with L-theanine and caffeine synergy May reduce the risk of several cancers Supports blood sugar control and insulin sensitivity Green tea is often praised for its role in weight loss, longevity, and mental clarity—making it one of the healthiest choices overall. Black Tea: Heart Health and Gut Support Black tea undergoes full oxidation, giving it a richer flavor and deeper color. It’s rich in theaflavins and flavonoids. Health benefits of drinking black tea: May lower LDL (bad) cholesterol Supports a healthy gut microbiome Offers moderate caffeine for mental focus May improve blood pressure and circulation Herbal Teas: Caffeine-Free Healing Herbal teas are not derived from the Camellia sinensis plant (like green or black tea), but from herbs, fruits, spices, or flowers. Top herbal teas and their health perks: Chamomile: Reduces anxiety and promotes sleep Peppermint: Aids digestion and relieves bloating Ginger: Eases nausea and supports immunity Rooibos: Antioxidant-rich and caffeine-free If you’re sensitive to caffeine or looking for specific health effects, herbal teas offer powerful benefits without the buzz. The Hidden Dangers of Drinking Tea While the health benefits of drinking tea are significant, overconsumption or poor-quality products can introduce unwanted side effects. Here's what you should watch out for. 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Why it matters: Microplastics may disrupt hormones Long-term accumulation can lead to inflammation or toxicity Safer tea-drinking tips: Use loose-leaf tea with a stainless steel infuser Choose brands with plastic-free or biodegradable bags Avoid synthetic "silky" tea bags Pesticides and Heavy Metals in Non-Organic Tea Teas grown in polluted regions or processed with poor quality control can contain lead, arsenic, aluminum, or pesticide residues. These can build up in your system and pose long-term health risks. How to protect yourself: Buy certified organic tea Choose brands with transparent sourcing and testing Avoid cheap, generic tea bags with undisclosed origins Caffeine Overload and Sleep Disruption Although tea typically has less caffeine than coffee, it can still lead to side effects in sensitive individuals. 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Book your stay through the resort’s official website or luxury travel platforms to secure exclusive offers and tailored experiences. Whether indulging in spa treatments, savoring exquisite cuisine, or simply soaking in the breathtaking coastal views, every moment at this five-star beachfront resort is designed to be unforgettable.
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    The Health Benefits of Drinking Tea (and The Hidden Dangers You Should Know) The health benefits of drinking tea are widely celebrated—from improved brain function and fat loss to better heart health and immunity. Whether you enjoy green tea, black tea, or an herbal infusion, tea is one of the most popular beverages in the world, second only to water. But not all cups of tea are created equal. While tea can offer incredible health advantages, it may also expose you to hidden risks like kidney stones, microplastics, heavy metals, and excess fluoride. In this guide, we’ll break down the health benefits of drinking tea and explain how to avoid its lesser-known dangers—so you can sip safely and wisely. The Science-Backed Health Benefits of Drinking Tea Drinking tea regularly can deliver a wide range of health benefits. Let’s look at what the science says about different types of tea and their effects on your body. Green Tea: A Metabolism and Brain Booster Green tea is packed with polyphenols and catechins—particularly EGCG (epigallocatechin gallate)—which are powerful antioxidants. Health benefits of drinking green tea: Boosts metabolism and fat oxidation Improves brain function with L-theanine and caffeine synergy May reduce the risk of several cancers Supports blood sugar control and insulin sensitivity Green tea is often praised for its role in weight loss, longevity, and mental clarity—making it one of the healthiest choices overall. Black Tea: Heart Health and Gut Support Black tea undergoes full oxidation, giving it a richer flavor and deeper color. It’s rich in theaflavins and flavonoids. Health benefits of drinking black tea: May lower LDL (bad) cholesterol Supports a healthy gut microbiome Offers moderate caffeine for mental focus May improve blood pressure and circulation Herbal Teas: Caffeine-Free Healing Herbal teas are not derived from the Camellia sinensis plant (like green or black tea), but from herbs, fruits, spices, or flowers. Top herbal teas and their health perks: Chamomile: Reduces anxiety and promotes sleep Peppermint: Aids digestion and relieves bloating Ginger: Eases nausea and supports immunity Rooibos: Antioxidant-rich and caffeine-free If you’re sensitive to caffeine or looking for specific health effects, herbal teas offer powerful benefits without the buzz. The Hidden Dangers of Drinking Tea While the health benefits of drinking tea are significant, overconsumption or poor-quality products can introduce unwanted side effects. Here's what you should watch out for. Kidney Stones From Excessive Oxalates Black tea, in particular, contains high levels of oxalates, which can bind with calcium in your kidneys to form stones. If you're prone to kidney stones or have a family history, it’s best to moderate your intake. How to lower kidney stone risk: Limit tea to 2–3 cups per day Stay hydrated with plain water Rotate with low-oxalate teas like green or rooibos Microplastics in Tea Bags Some tea bags, especially pyramid-shaped or “silken” styles, are made of plastic mesh (often PET or nylon). When steeped in boiling water, these can release billions of microplastic particles. Why it matters: Microplastics may disrupt hormones Long-term accumulation can lead to inflammation or toxicity Safer tea-drinking tips: Use loose-leaf tea with a stainless steel infuser Choose brands with plastic-free or biodegradable bags Avoid synthetic "silky" tea bags Pesticides and Heavy Metals in Non-Organic Tea Teas grown in polluted regions or processed with poor quality control can contain lead, arsenic, aluminum, or pesticide residues. These can build up in your system and pose long-term health risks. How to protect yourself: Buy certified organic tea Choose brands with transparent sourcing and testing Avoid cheap, generic tea bags with undisclosed origins Caffeine Overload and Sleep Disruption Although tea typically has less caffeine than coffee, it can still lead to side effects in sensitive individuals. Overconsumption of black or green tea may cause: Insomnia Increased anxiety Rapid heart rate Acid reflux Tip: Cut off caffeinated teas 6–8 hours before bedtime, and choose herbal teas in the evening to promote rest. Fluoride Buildup From Over-Steeped Tea Tea plants naturally absorb fluoride from the soil, especially older, lower-quality leaves used in mass-market teas. Excess fluoride can contribute to: Joint pain or bone issues Dental fluorosis Hormonal imbalances Minimize fluoride exposure by: Choosing high-quality, loose-leaf teas Using purified water Not over-steeping your tea How to Safely Enjoy the Health Benefits of Drinking Tea The good news? You can enjoy all the health benefits of drinking tea while avoiding the hidden dangers with just a few smart habits. Choose Loose-Leaf Tea Loose-leaf tea: Has fewer contaminants Avoids plastic-based bags Is often fresher and more flavorful Use a stainless steel, ceramic, or BPA-free silicone infuser for best results. Rotate Your Teas Avoid overloading your system with any one compound. Rotating between green, white, herbal, and rooibos teas reduces your risk of oxalate or fluoride buildup. Steep Wisely Proper steeping enhances benefits and reduces harsh compounds. Green tea: 160–180°F for 1–2 minutes Black tea: 200–212°F for 3–5 minutes Herbal tea: Boiling water for 5–7 minutes Avoid over-steeping, which can increase tannin and caffeine content. Drink in Moderation Stick to 2–3 cups per day unless you’ve been advised otherwise by your doctor. Too much tea—even healthy varieties—can stress your kidneys or digestive system. Stay Hydrated Tea is hydrating, but some varieties (especially black and green) have mild diuretic effects. Balance your tea intake with plain water to stay fully hydrated. Buy Organic and Trusted Brands Look for labels that say: USDA Organic Fair Trade Certified Non-GMO Verified These indicate better farming and processing standards—and fewer contaminants. Frequently Asked Questions About the Health Benefits of Drinking Tea Is it safe to drink tea every day? Yes, in moderation. Drinking 2–3 cups daily can be beneficial, especially if you rotate types and choose high-quality teas. Which tea has the most health benefits? Green tea is one of the most studied and offers powerful antioxidant, metabolic, and cardiovascular benefits. Can tea damage your kidneys? Only in excess. Teas high in oxalates (like black tea) can contribute to kidney stones if consumed excessively or without hydration. What is the safest tea to drink daily? Rooibos and herbal teas are safe, caffeine-free options for daily consumption. Green tea in moderation is also considered very safe. Are tea bags bad for your health? Some are. Bags made with plastic mesh can release microplastics. Opt for loose-leaf or organic, plastic-free bagged teas instead. Final Thoughts: Tea Can Be a Healing Ritual or a Hidden Risk The health benefits of drinking tea are undeniable—boosted immunity, better focus, weight management, and stress relief. But to unlock those benefits safely, it's important to stay informed about the risks. By choosing quality tea, avoiding plastic bags, managing oxalates and fluoride, and drinking in moderation, you can enjoy every cup with peace of mind. So brew smarter, sip cleaner, and let your tea habit support your health—not compromise it.
    • Health and Fitness

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    The Health Benefits of Drinking Tea (and The Hidden Dangers You Should Know) The health benefits of drinking tea are widely celebrated—from improved brain function and fat loss to better heart health and immunity. Whether you enjoy green tea, black tea, or an herbal infusion, tea is one of the most popular beverages in the world, second only to water. But not all cups of tea are created equal. While tea can offer incredible health advantages, it may also expose you to hidden risks like kidney stones, microplastics, heavy metals, and excess fluoride. In this guide, we’ll break down the health benefits of drinking tea and explain how to avoid its lesser-known dangers—so you can sip safely and wisely. The Science-Backed Health Benefits of Drinking Tea Drinking tea regularly can deliver a wide range of health benefits. Let’s look at what the science says about different types of tea and their effects on your body. Green Tea: A Metabolism and Brain Booster Green tea is packed with polyphenols and catechins—particularly EGCG (epigallocatechin gallate)—which are powerful antioxidants. Health benefits of drinking green tea: Boosts metabolism and fat oxidation Improves brain function with L-theanine and caffeine synergy May reduce the risk of several cancers Supports blood sugar control and insulin sensitivity Green tea is often praised for its role in weight loss, longevity, and mental clarity—making it one of the healthiest choices overall. Black Tea: Heart Health and Gut Support Black tea undergoes full oxidation, giving it a richer flavor and deeper color. It’s rich in theaflavins and flavonoids. Health benefits of drinking black tea: May lower LDL (bad) cholesterol Supports a healthy gut microbiome Offers moderate caffeine for mental focus May improve blood pressure and circulation Herbal Teas: Caffeine-Free Healing Herbal teas are not derived from the Camellia sinensis plant (like green or black tea), but from herbs, fruits, spices, or flowers. Top herbal teas and their health perks: Chamomile: Reduces anxiety and promotes sleep Peppermint: Aids digestion and relieves bloating Ginger: Eases nausea and supports immunity Rooibos: Antioxidant-rich and caffeine-free If you’re sensitive to caffeine or looking for specific health effects, herbal teas offer powerful benefits without the buzz. The Hidden Dangers of Drinking Tea While the health benefits of drinking tea are significant, overconsumption or poor-quality products can introduce unwanted side effects. Here's what you should watch out for. Kidney Stones From Excessive Oxalates Black tea, in particular, contains high levels of oxalates, which can bind with calcium in your kidneys to form stones. If you're prone to kidney stones or have a family history, it’s best to moderate your intake. How to lower kidney stone risk: Limit tea to 2–3 cups per day Stay hydrated with plain water Rotate with low-oxalate teas like green or rooibos Microplastics in Tea Bags Some tea bags, especially pyramid-shaped or “silken” styles, are made of plastic mesh (often PET or nylon). When steeped in boiling water, these can release billions of microplastic particles. Why it matters: Microplastics may disrupt hormones Long-term accumulation can lead to inflammation or toxicity Safer tea-drinking tips: Use loose-leaf tea with a stainless steel infuser Choose brands with plastic-free or biodegradable bags Avoid synthetic "silky" tea bags Pesticides and Heavy Metals in Non-Organic Tea Teas grown in polluted regions or processed with poor quality control can contain lead, arsenic, aluminum, or pesticide residues. These can build up in your system and pose long-term health risks. How to protect yourself: Buy certified organic tea Choose brands with transparent sourcing and testing Avoid cheap, generic tea bags with undisclosed origins Caffeine Overload and Sleep Disruption Although tea typically has less caffeine than coffee, it can still lead to side effects in sensitive individuals. Overconsumption of black or green tea may cause: Insomnia Increased anxiety Rapid heart rate Acid reflux Tip: Cut off caffeinated teas 6–8 hours before bedtime, and choose herbal teas in the evening to promote rest. Fluoride Buildup From Over-Steeped Tea Tea plants naturally absorb fluoride from the soil, especially older, lower-quality leaves used in mass-market teas. Excess fluoride can contribute to: Joint pain or bone issues Dental fluorosis Hormonal imbalances Minimize fluoride exposure by: Choosing high-quality, loose-leaf teas Using purified water Not over-steeping your tea How to Safely Enjoy the Health Benefits of Drinking Tea The good news? You can enjoy all the health benefits of drinking tea while avoiding the hidden dangers with just a few smart habits. Choose Loose-Leaf Tea Loose-leaf tea: Has fewer contaminants Avoids plastic-based bags Is often fresher and more flavorful Use a stainless steel, ceramic, or BPA-free silicone infuser for best results. Rotate Your Teas Avoid overloading your system with any one compound. Rotating between green, white, herbal, and rooibos teas reduces your risk of oxalate or fluoride buildup. Steep Wisely Proper steeping enhances benefits and reduces harsh compounds. Green tea: 160–180°F for 1–2 minutes Black tea: 200–212°F for 3–5 minutes Herbal tea: Boiling water for 5–7 minutes Avoid over-steeping, which can increase tannin and caffeine content. Drink in Moderation Stick to 2–3 cups per day unless you’ve been advised otherwise by your doctor. Too much tea—even healthy varieties—can stress your kidneys or digestive system. Stay Hydrated Tea is hydrating, but some varieties (especially black and green) have mild diuretic effects. Balance your tea intake with plain water to stay fully hydrated. Buy Organic and Trusted Brands Look for labels that say: USDA Organic Fair Trade Certified Non-GMO Verified These indicate better farming and processing standards—and fewer contaminants. Frequently Asked Questions About the Health Benefits of Drinking Tea Is it safe to drink tea every day? Yes, in moderation. Drinking 2–3 cups daily can be beneficial, especially if you rotate types and choose high-quality teas. Which tea has the most health benefits? Green tea is one of the most studied and offers powerful antioxidant, metabolic, and cardiovascular benefits. Can tea damage your kidneys? Only in excess. Teas high in oxalates (like black tea) can contribute to kidney stones if consumed excessively or without hydration. What is the safest tea to drink daily? Rooibos and herbal teas are safe, caffeine-free options for daily consumption. Green tea in moderation is also considered very safe. Are tea bags bad for your health? Some are. Bags made with plastic mesh can release microplastics. Opt for loose-leaf or organic, plastic-free bagged teas instead. Final Thoughts: Tea Can Be a Healing Ritual or a Hidden Risk The health benefits of drinking tea are undeniable—boosted immunity, better focus, weight management, and stress relief. But to unlock those benefits safely, it's important to stay informed about the risks. By choosing quality tea, avoiding plastic bags, managing oxalates and fluoride, and drinking in moderation, you can enjoy every cup with peace of mind. So brew smarter, sip cleaner, and let your tea habit support your health—not compromise it.
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